When we are in the busy years of motherhood, life can feel so overwhelming. We barely make it to the end of the day without bursting into tears, and it feels like reaching out to others takes too much energy. And maybe it does. But it can also give us energy, relief, and encouragement to keep going.<\/p>\n
Social support systems have benefits that are so far-reaching they actually prolong life. Such \u201cvillages\u201d used to be common. Now, our villages are spread out across the country and maybe even the world, and we chat with them on our phones. And that\u2019s okay too. But not if that takes the place of real-life relationships.<\/p>\n
I follow a popular author who seems to have the most amazing friends and family around her. She frequently posts about those in her life who always seem to show up when she needs them. They make meals. They watch her kids. They buy her thoughtful gifts and are there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. They listen and give advice at just the right times.<\/p>\n
Once I saw a comment on one of her threads that gave me a light-bulb moment. The person said something like, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you have amazing friends and family, but the rest of us don\u2019t, so this all feels a bit braggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
There is nothing more discouraging than feeling alone\u2014alone in your struggle, alone in your situation, alone in your home. When you have babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, the days are so long. And while the little ones can give amazing hugs and cuddles, you may often feel starved for grown-up conversation.<\/p>\n
Caring for our little ones takes up most of our time and energy. It\u2019s overwhelming. It\u2019s exhausting. But it\u2019s in these years that we\u2019d most benefit from help, support, and friendship. And because most of us live life online instead of in the local community, we don\u2019t even know how to get it.<\/p>\n
As I\u2019ve wrestled with that dilemma, I\u2019ve discovered a few approaches that have led to rich friendships.<\/p>\n
Think outside the age box<\/i><\/p>\n
One friend who helped me through cancer treatment, Sheryl, is about ten years older than me. She went through breast cancer when she was my age. And another two times since then. When I felt scared or panicked, I could reach out to her. Sheryl would listen\u2014sometimes come over\u2014and point me back to the Lord. She was someone I could rely on and reach out to when I felt bad. Her support was life-giving.<\/p>\n\n\t\t