{"id":227222,"date":"2023-03-16T11:00:10","date_gmt":"2023-03-16T15:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/?p=227222"},"modified":"2023-04-06T11:56:59","modified_gmt":"2023-04-06T15:56:59","slug":"grace-has-a-space-in-hard-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/grace-has-a-space-in-hard-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"Grace Has A Space In Hard Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cLet your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.\u201d<\/em> (Colossians 4:6 ESV)<\/p>\n

Sometimes God’s Word can feel like an impossible order, don’t you think?<\/p>\n

Take the verse above for example: Paul told us we are to let our words “always be gracious.” The NIV actually reads “full of grace.” Full of it. As in, not sometimes gracious. A full atmosphere of graciousness even when the conversations are hard.<\/p>\n

And that’s just about the moment when I admit I just want to lie down on the floor and loudly declare, “But I am not Jesus!” Ugh.<\/p>\n

I don’t know about you, but sometimes gracious speech seems impossible for me. When someone’s hurtful words have landed like daggers in my heart, I want to defend myself. Maybe even attack back a bit. And point out how they’re misunderstanding my intentions. Not offer them gracious words. And even my most enjoyable relationships have moments where this doesn’t feel completely possible \u2026 Relationships are just messy.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been thinking about all of this as I\u2019ve been on a recent journey of learning how to set and keep healthy boundaries in my relationships. It\u2019s not easy. It\u2019s hard to examine places of dysfunction, distress, distrust, and maybe even destruction within relationships with those you love.<\/p>\n

When we\u2019re in a difficult relationship or even a destructive one that isn\u2019t sustainable, especially if addictions are involved, there does need to be a measure of grace and compassion. Because sometimes what is actually driving unhealthy behaviors in people is underlying shame or a lack of peace deep inside. Many times it\u2019s both.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m not saying is that because of grace and compassion, we condone or enable their actions and stay in situations where there\u2019s harm being done. But what I am saying is that, as we take a step back, we can consider having grace and compassion for whatever caused the original root of shame and chaos in their heart that then drove them to try to act and react in such unhealthy ways. We don\u2019t want the hurt they\u2019ve caused to make us betray who we really are. We aren\u2019t cruel or mean-spirited so we don\u2019t want to bring any of that into our boundary setting.<\/p>\n

I also want to have grace because I don\u2019t have life so figured out that I never act and react in unhealthy ways. I have my own issues that I need to work on and work through with counseling. Learning to have grace and compassion appropriately, while still also having boundaries, continues to be one of my biggest lessons.<\/p>\n

So, how can we really be gracious without excusing away hurtful behavior we’re experiencing? Or avoiding honest conversations we need to have?<\/p>\n\n\t\t