{"id":226929,"date":"2023-02-14T11:25:12","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T16:25:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/?p=226929"},"modified":"2024-08-19T15:23:10","modified_gmt":"2024-08-19T19:23:10","slug":"a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness\/","title":{"rendered":"A Content Heart Starts in Singleness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">For the majority of college, I was single. And I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I wasn\u2019t always patient during singleness. I was the one in the friend group that was consumed with dating and obsessed with finding a boyfriend. I struggled with being single. I don\u2019t really like to even say struggle because it sounds like it was a burden to be single. The only reason it was hard for me is because I made singleness hard. I didn\u2019t like being single, therefore I didn\u2019t like the Lord putting me in a season of singleness. I wanted a boyfriend because the whole world told me that a boyfriend gives you security, love, acceptance and companionship. I wanted a boyfriend because I didn\u2019t want to be lonely, insecure or isolated. All my friends were in serious relationships and it seemed that their lives were much better than mine because they had boyfriends. For two years, I lived in this belief that a boyfriend would solve all these problems. Two years of obsessing over the hope of having a boyfriend one day. I was mentally exhausted from the constant search and need for someone else to give me the security and love I so desperately wanted.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">I vividly remember sitting at the counter of my college house reading and journaling when I had this thought, or rather God planted this thought in my mind.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I was so tired of feeling sorry for myself for not being in a relationship. I knew that a relationship wouldn\u2019t fill me, but I was acting like I was depleted and deprived because I wasn\u2019t in a relationship. My beliefs were not lining up with my actions. God so lovingly showed me my inconsistencies. I was wasting my thoughts by being overwhelmed with desire for a relationship, so much so it decreased my quality of life. I decided to change my thoughts. I wanted to live everyday like it was my last day of being single. I was going to enjoy it even if somedays I had to force myself to see it as good. One day I would hopefully be in a relationship that would turn into marriage and I would never be single again. I wanted to make myself proud of the way I lived in it and didn\u2019t want to waste what the Lord had me in. If you really stop and think about each day, we have no idea what it holds. It could be the day that changes your life. But instead of waiting on the day that changes everything, I want to live my life freely and confidently not waiting on a day to come.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">As I looked to the positives of singleness, contentment grew within me. I learned how to spend time with Jesus. Not just read my Bible, pray a little, and move on, but ACTUALLY spend time with him and enjoy it! I looked forward to being in His presence every day. I received all the security, acceptance, and love I needed from Him. My heart was slowly aware that the things I desperately wanted, I had in Jesus all along.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">As I became more content with my season, the Lord gave me more peace in my heart about the unknowns of my future. He removed the way I idolized a future husband and provided me with deep satisfaction in Him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">The day I started dating my now husband, I had peace leaving my season of singleness. I knew I had been obedient in learning all the Lord wanted me to grow in.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\t\t<style type=\"text\/css\">\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-226929 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-full'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness\/freddievalentines-2\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-2.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-2.png 1080w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-2-980x1742.png 980w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-2-480x853.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) and (max-width: 980px) 980px, (min-width: 981px) 1080px, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness\/freddievalentines\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines.png 1080w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-980x1742.png 980w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-480x853.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) and (max-width: 980px) 980px, (min-width: 981px) 1080px, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness\/freddievalentines-3\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-3.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-3.png 1080w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-3-980x1742.png 980w, https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/FreddieValentines-3-480x853.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) and (max-width: 980px) 980px, (min-width: 981px) 1080px, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><br style=\"clear: both\" \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">I am grateful for my season of singleness because it taught me to be content in every season.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">It created a heart posture within me to be satisfied in the Lord rather than my circumstances. Rushing from one season to the next is harmful. It steals the lessons of love, satisfaction, and being fully present with the Lord that He wanted to teach me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Being fulfilled by the Lord\u2019s presence then produced satisfaction in the season I\u2019m in now.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Being single is wonderful, dating is wonderful, engagement and marriage are wonderful! But if you ignore contentment in singleness you will be dissatisfied in dating. You\u2019ll want engagement, and in engagement you\u2019ll want marriage. In marriage you\u2019ll want kids, then you\u2019ll want to be empty nesters. It\u2019s an endless cycle of always wanting the next thing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It\u2019s a trap that we can so easily fall into if we do not posture our hearts to be content in our current season.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It can be dangerous to view singleness as a season of waiting because of what it does to our hearts when we label it that way. Waiting can imply that your life is missing something and you are looking to that thing hopeful it will fill whatever is missing in your life. <em>&#8220;I\u2019m waiting for God to move in my life.&#8221; &#8220;I\u2019m waiting for Him to give me an answer on what He wants me to do.&#8221; &#8220;I\u2019m waiting on Him to give me a boyfriend.&#8221;<\/em> When we \u201cwait\u201d on God to act, move, or provide and it doesn\u2019t happen on our timeline, we view it as a punishment. In reality, we were never actually waiting on God, we were wanting God to move when we say so.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Sure, you might feel like you are waiting for a boyfriend. But what are you wanting a boyfriend to fix in you? Fix in your life? If you never had a boyfriend, never got married, would you be content with your relationship with the Lord to fill you?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Instead of waiting on God to give you a boyfriend, be with God in your singleness. There\u2019s so much more at stake than your desire for a relationship. The Lord is forming in you contentment, satisfaction, and a sole desire for His presence to fill. I believe these lessons are best taught in singleness and that\u2019s why the enemy wants us to rush out of it. If we never learn how to be content and satisfied in the Lord we will always look to something or someone else to fill us. This is why singleness is so valuable! You cannot learn that only God can fill you until he is all you have to fill you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">There will be a last day of singleness for you. So, make yourself proud of the way you lived it out!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Focus your purpose in singleness to be closer to God, to soak in his presence, and learn how to be satisfied where he has placed you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I promise that when you allow your heart to be satisfied in Jesus, you will lack nothing. The longing for a husband won\u2019t change, but you will be content in where the Lord has you. Your heart\u2019s ability to be content now will cultivate a heart of contentment for every season to come.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So, to my friend that is single today, wondering when and if her husband will ever come into her life: focus on your heart posture. Learn to be satisfied with God in your singleness, its so much more important than having a boyfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Freddie is a recent grad from Auburn University with her masters in clinical mental health counseling and is on staff with LO as a counselor. She loves long walks, spending time with friends and family, and helping people find their confidence in who God made them to be!<\/em><br aria-hidden=\"true\" \/><br aria-hidden=\"true\" \/><em>Follow Freddie on Instagram: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/yourfriend_freddie\/\">@yourfriend_Freddie<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For the majority of college, I was single. And I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I wasn\u2019t always patient during singleness. I was the one in the friend group that was consumed with dating and obsessed with finding a boyfriend. I struggled with being single. I don\u2019t really like to even say struggle because\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/a-content-heart-starts-in-singleness\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":240,"featured_media":226932,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,400,7,17,442,35],"tags":[],"coauthors":[262],"class_list":["post-226929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-advice","category-lo-library","category-love","category-relationships","category-singles","category-wisdom"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/240"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=226929"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":226941,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226929\/revisions\/226941"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/226932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=226929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=226929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=226929"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveoriginal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=226929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}